When my grandmother dated in middle school (yes, middle school) her parents had one primary rule for her.The Primary Dating Rule: Don’t go out with the same guy twice in a row. She explained that the lack of exclusivity helped them guard their hearts and kept things from getting too serious too quickly. The lack of exclusivity helped the girls guard their hearts and kept the boys from feeling entitled to the girl.
Readiness can become a carrot on a stick, an ideal that can never be achieved.“If I had only gone out with 3 or 4 guys I wouldn’t have known what I wanted in a husband,” she said.It is not that her parents were uninvolved; it is that they played an advisory role, particularly as she entered high school and they relaxed the rules about not going steady.It often had symbols like the girl wearing the guy’s letter jacket.
This telegraphed to everyone at school that she was “off the market” and that she had a “steady beau”.
So what on earth were they doing that worked so well?