Similarly, being cheated on isn’t a sign that there’s something wrong with your relationship. For others it’s about the rush of doing something forbidden, the thrill of risk and being caught.For still others, it’s about boredom and wanting to shake things up – even if it ends up hurting themselves and others.That desire to know more is completely natural; it’s part of the urge to understand, as though knowing more might make the act more comprehensible. Knowing who it was, when it started, what they did and where, why that person…there is almost answer that your partner can give you that won’t gouge out parts of your soul.Someone who’s caring for a sick or handicapped partner, for example, may not want to leave; at this point, a discrete affair often can be part of less if it were a one-off affair of poor judgement…
What you don’t want to do is make things worse by asking for the details.
Contrast this with the serial adulterer who regularly cheats on his or her partner with no real regard for their feelings; the crimes are similar but the circumstances and motivations are entirely different.
Yes, it’s easy to fall to temptation or impulse or poor judgement at one point or another; frequently, it’s how we learn.
Ignorance isn’t exactly bliss in this case but it’s a of a lot less painful. Despite the seeming obviousness of it, most infidelities about sex.
If you want to understand, then you don’t want the “whats” or “hows”, you want the “whys” – the motivation behind the affair. Cheat-proofing your relationship isn’t as simple as constantly upping the crazy sex you’re into or fucking your partner into a coma; in fact, this belief tends to end up assigning part of the blame to the other partner who’s been cheated on.
Then there are those who use affairs to get slamming their hands on the relationship self-destruct button – as acts of self-sabotage, as weapons of last resort, or even just because they’re afraid and hitting the eject button rather than facing their fears. One of the things that needs to be considered in the wake of discovering that you’ve been cheated on is the circumstances of the affair itself.