In fact, they were quite sexual and adventurous in their own way.They were up for trying new things, playing with some toys and trying out experiences.Each of my exes was beautiful in her own distinct way – and engaging, funny, likeable.Of course, we had ups and downs in the course of our relationships, as all couples do.And then reigniting and fully realizing those desires upon the thrilling discovery of the kink community.All of these people had similar stories of ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, ex-husbands, ex-wives, who they had tried to introduce to kink.
Trying to understand why they liked these things that were strange and deviant to regular folks, realizing they needed to keep certain desires to themselves.And almost all wished that they had the courage to do it much, much sooner.There is one exception that I would add to all of this.Trying to get their man to dominate them, or get their girlfriend to tie them up. When you love someone and love being with them, but know deep down that there is an important part of yourself that your partner just doesn’t understand, and never will. Made me wonder if I can push it aside, forget about it, grow out of it, bury it. And now of course I know that is ludicrous – in the same category as trying to “pray away the gay” – it’s just not possible.
So many relationships where ultimately they failed because the kinky person could not get their needs met. And of course the other thing I know now is that I wouldn’t want to de-kink myself, even if I could.
Or you may have had a particular moment when your kink was awakened – perhaps with a partner introducing you to BDSM – which was akin to letting the genie out of the bottle (there’s no getting it back in there).